Reason #5: We Become Afraid of All Babysitters

Today was my son's first day of day care. He has just learned to walk a few months ago, but he has no words. I started to cry this morning, getting him ready for his first day of day care. My husband assured me that it would be okay, and that he would love it.

The thing is, my mother trusted a young teenage girl to watch my brother and I. This babysitter molested us both. We were so young and so vulnerable, and the damage was done by the time she got home. She put her hands in places she shouldn't have, her tongue on places she shouldn't have, and had my brother put his tongue and mouth and hands and eyes on places he shouldn't have had to know of. I was less than five years old, he was less than 8. We were scared and alone, and this woman was in charge, and there was no where we could run. She said "Let's play a game." Games shouldn't make us feel dirty and scared forever.

Now that I am older, I understand that she was probably molested herself. But this is exactly my point. We know you molesters exist out there. We know you are opportunists who are just waiting for the right time and place to molest our children without getting caught in the act. And we know you will lie about it if you are caught.

Survivors of child sexual abuse tend to view the world in very black and white terms, without shades of gray. People are either good or bad. They will either hurt us and our kids, or they won't. And since that is our understanding of the world, we become afraid of putting our children into day care. This is why you shouldn't fuck kids, we become afraid of everyone that comes into contact with our children. You have proven you are willing to hurt us in unthinkable ways, and we take that knowledge with us in every facet of our life. Most especially with our children. The thought of such things happening to my beautiful, precious son scares me to my very core.

Please, G-d, don't let this happen to my child. Please, Lord, protect my child in the way You were unable to protect me.